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2023 Champions League Round of 16 Preview

We’re almost over the 3-month break that comes between the group stages ending and the knockouts beginning. I’m sure everyone wants to know who Rob thinks will advance to the UCL Quarter Finals, right? I’ll humble myself with my group stage predictions, along with previewing each Round of 16 tie.

Group B Results (My predictions):

  1. Porto (Atletico Madrid)

  2. Club Brugge (Bayer Leverkusen)

  3. Bayer Leverkusen (Club Brugge)

  4. Atletico Madrid (Porto)

Group A Results (My predictions):

  1. Napoli

  2. Liverpool

  3. Ajax

  4. Rangers

Group D Results (My predictions):

  1. Tottenham Hotspur

  2. Eintracht Frankfurt (Marseille)

  3. Sporting Lisbon

  4. Marseille (Eintracht Frankfurt)

Group C Results (My predictions):

  1. Bayern Munich

  2. Inter Milan (Barcelona)

  3. Barcelona (Inter Milan)

  4. Viktoria Plezn

Group F Results (My predictions):

  1. Real Madrid

  2. RB Leipzig (Shaktar Donetsk)

  3. Shaktar Donetsk (RB Leipzig)

  4. Celtic

Group E Results (My predictions):

  1. Chel$ea

  2. AC Milan

  3. RB Salzburg (Dinamo Zagreb)

  4. Dinamo Zagreb (RB Salzburg)

Group H Results (My predictions):

  1. Benfica (P$G)

  2. P$G (Juventus)

  3. Juventus (Benfica)

  4. Maccabi Haifa

Group G Results (My predictions):

  1. Manchester City

  2. Borussia Dortmund

  3. Sevilla

  4. Copenhagen

Knockout Ties:

P$G vs Bayern Munich

An epic Round of 16 battle featuring a rematch of the 2020 UCL Final. Can Bayern progress through without Lewandowski and Neuer, or does Messi finally get his signature moment in a P$G kit? Luckily for Paris, Neymar’s sister’s birthday is after the second leg.

Prediction: P$G 3, Bayern Munich 2


Tottenham vs AC Milan

Milan have been on a freefall since the World Cup and look atrocious. However, who better to play than a team notorious for choking? This should be an interesting one that’s hard to predict. Spurs losing GK Hugo Lloris right before the first leg is scary. However, if Heung Min Son can find his form, it’s game over for Milan.

Prediction: Tottenham 3, AC Milan 3 - Spurs advance in ET


Club Brugge vs Benfica

This looks like it should be a Europa League match, but both teams were very impressive to make the knockout stages. Shockingly, I don’t know much about the Belgian Pro League but Benfica has been dominant in Portugal.

Prediction: Benfica 4, Club Brugge 1


Dortmund vs Chel$ea

Dortmund are going to obliterate this plastic club.

Prediction: Dortmund 70, Chel$ea -5


Liverpool vs Real Madrid

Arguably the best tie of the round, this features another rematch of the 2018 and 2022 UCL finals. Liverpool have been atrocious in the Premier League while Real Madrid have been unimpressive in La Liga. Current form vs experience should play a major role for each team.

Prediction: Liverpool 4, Real Madrid 3


Eintracht Frankfurt vs Napoli

Napoli have been one of the world’s best teams this season while Frankfurt have improved since a poor start. The biggest storyline here - will Napoli’s runaway form in Serie A help or hurt them in the tie?

Prediction: Napoli 5, Frankfurt 3


RB Leipzig vs Manchester City

Leipzig are enjoying a productive period in the Bundesliga while City were hit with transfer breaches earlier this week. On paper, City should be destroying Leipzig, but outside factors could play a role. Who wins - Oil or Energy?

Prediction: Manchester City 3, RB Leipzig 3 - Man City advance on PKs


Inter Milan vs Porto

The Portuguese side looked very impressive in the group stage while Inter embarrassed Barcelona to advance from their group. Inter have the better team on paper, but Portuguese teams have impressed in this competition.

Prediction: Inter Milan 4, Porto 4 - Porto advance in ET


We’ve all waited 3 months for these matches, and the time has finally come. What did I get wrong? Who am I fighting about my Chel$ea prediction? See you on the other side in a month’s time.

Some Jabroni from ESPN said that Liverpool should sell Mo Salah. Let me tell you why they are an idiot and should be fired.

Some Jabroni from ESPN said that Liverpool should sell Mo Salah. Let me tell you why they are an idiot and should be fired.

- Kevin Pettit

In the hottest (wrongest) take yet, ESPN writer Chris mother fucking Jones tries to prove why the Egyptian King, Mo Salah, should have been sold after the Premier League ended. Well thats wrong and Kevin is here to tell you why. Check it out and let us know how wrong this ESPN quack is!

Bad Champions League Semi-Finals Predictions

Bad Champions League Semi-Finals Predictions

- Martin Frasier -

As we get one step closer to Kyiv, this idiot provides his own thoughts and musings about the Madrid v. Bayern and L’pool v. Roma matchups this week. Smash the link to read the worst thought out prediction blogs and chat some shit if you think the LADS are way off base!